Friday, September 20, 2013


Today is your birthday, dearest sister......
We talked often about celebrating your big 50.....
You were hoping so that you would make this milestone....
My heart breaks that you are not here today....
Happy Birthday, baby sister!!
I love you...





Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Monday, July 29, 2013

Just spent a day with my BEAUTIFUL nieces...   we all miss you so much, Laurie.......

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Thursday, July 18, 2013

One year ago we were getting ready for our trip to Ghana.....

Thursday, June 27, 2013


Days gone by...... big sister and little sister......

Wednesday, June 26, 2013


Spent part of last evening with Kaitlyn, 
looking back on photos of past years when we were all together.
We had so many good times.


Sunday, June 23, 2013

It was a hot summer day..... hot and humid today.....
Reminded me of this warm summer night in downtown Binghamton......
2008..... the year before we knew that like me, 
you would also be diagnosed with breast cancer, dear sister.  
What a carefree evening with you, Laurie....


Friday, June 21, 2013

2 months today without my sister........

A year ago we were cruising down a river in Ghana....

Thursday, June 20, 2013

I love hearing Laurie's laughter and seeing her smiles as her school recognized her career.




Wednesday, June 19, 2013


The school year is ending.....
You should be cleaning your classroom, doing grades, wrapping up annual reports, and making plans for end-of-the-year get-togethers on your deck with your friends from school.




Sunday, June 16, 2013

Father's Day..... always spent at Laurie's......  but not this year....


Friday, June 14, 2013

Laughing, laughing, laughing.... I miss the laughter.....




Thursday, June 13, 2013

Six months ago today was the Sandy Hook Tragedy.  I remember the day so well.  I was with you, Laurie, in Binghamton.  We were walking in to the Cancer Center at Lourdes.... and the television was on.  Before we sat down, we stopped to see what was on the news.   It was the shooting at Sandy Hook.  Instantly we forgot our own tragedy.....we forgot about why we were at the hospital.   We shared tears for the families.  The world just stood still as our hearts filled with grief.
That is how I feel each and every day since losing you, Laurie.  My heart is filled with grief..... there is a hole that can never be filled.


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

I remember this day so well.   We stopped at this bridge in Ghana and spent time looking at the river and the landscape.  It was a day kind of like today....not too warm.....not too cold....
Just a relaxing day traveling.....



Monday, June 10, 2013

The school year is almost over.... Summer is beginning.....
Last year we were in Cape Cod together....
This year..... we are just left knowing that we will never have these days again,,,,



Sunday, June 9, 2013

Laughing....... always making us laugh....... always......
Look at Dick....he can't even look at the camera......
But I don't find much to laugh at anymore......

Thursday, June 6, 2013

I hope Lilia will always remember her Aunt Laurie.....

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

I ran across this picture today.... from 2008. 
It was the evening after my dad's 80th birthday party.  
Where did we all go after the party?  Back to Laurie's house, of course.
Here she is with our Uncle Bob, who was in town for the party, and our dad.
What a special day/night it was!!


Sunday, June 2, 2013

Together in New Jersey
December 2011




My brother and I were talking about this song last night.....
How Laurie loved this song.....
Indeed, home was wherever we were all together....


Saturday, June 1, 2013

Another hot hot hot summer day.  It reminds me of the day Laurie came up and we worked on re-screening my entire porch.  It was so uncomfortable that every time we walked by the pool, we dunked the top of our heads in just to take away some of the heat so we could continue on.  And, continue on we did, until the job was done...even though I would have quit hours earlier.

Today we are helping Ariana's family build a playground.  With every shovelful of stones, I kept thinking that Laurie would have been here with us today..... helping build the entire thing.  It seems like everything around our houses was made by Laurie, or has some memory of Laurie.
Every family gathering, every special day...... EVERY day has a memory of Laurie.





Thursday, May 30, 2013

It's a hot humid summer day....
reminds me of this night in Ghana when we were sitting by the ocean....

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

No words.....just a crazy moment!

Summer is beginning soon.  Temps are going up near 90..... humidity is increasing.
When I think of summer I think of you, Laurie....
Always loving the sun, the water, the gardening, the family time......

Monday, May 27, 2013


Memorial Day weekend...... what would a holiday/picnic/summer weekend be without your cheetos, Laurie?  You ALWAYS had them ready for all of us to munch on.  So, in your honor we ate cheetos all day long yesterday!!!

Saturday, May 25, 2013

It is Memorial Day weekend.  
Whatever the holiday, it was a reason to hang out on Laurie's back porch/deck.
This is the first summer holiday without you.....
I bought Cheetos in your honor.
I will play the music.
But through it all my tears will fall.......


Friday, May 24, 2013



Hard to believe that a year ago we were all in Canada 
celebrating Kaitlyn's graduation....
What a proud day for Laurie....







Thursday, May 23, 2013

Aunt Laurie was always there for any life event...... like the birth of Lilia in 2007.
I hope Lilia will always remember that the love she got from Aunt Laurie.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

ONE MONTH

One month ago today since I lost my sister......

There is a quilt being made in this country.  
It is a quilt of memories of people fighting and losing the Metastatic Breast Cancer Battle.   
The quilt will travel around this country. 
And, one square on the quilt will remember OUR fight....

“Her eyes filled with tears when I was very happy or sad.
THAT was my sister.”

LAURIE PAETZOLD RYAN
Daughter, Mother, Wife, Sister, Aunt, Teacher
9/20/1963 – lost the 2 year MBC battle on 4/21/2013

KATHLEEN PAETZOLD
Daughter, Mother, Sister, Aunt, Teacher
4/7/1951 – still fighting MBC after 6 years

They often say that “Of two sisters,
one is the watcher, and one is the dancer.”
Kathi was the older, the quieter, “the watcher”.
Laurie was “the dancer”, the life and joy of every gathering.

Laurie was at Kathi’s side for the 17 years she has battled BC.
Then in 2009, Laurie also had the BC diagnosis.
In 2011, Laurie found herself traveling her sister’s road of MBC.
In 2012, that “road” took both of them to Ghana on an adventure of a lifetime (even though both were still doing chemo treatments)!
Neither sister stopped fighting, but on 4/21 Laurie lost the battle.
Two beautiful girls lost their mother.
 Students lost their teacher.
A father lost his daughter.  
A sister has lost her friend and support.
And, the world lost another “DANCER”.




Always happiest with company at her house!!!
summer 2009

Monday, May 20, 2013

New Year's Eve 2009
Trying hard to make it till midnight despite both of us on chemo treatments
No New Year's Eve will ever be the same....









Cold or Warm...... every holiday was at Laurie's....... She became the focal point for the family.  The place where we always headed.....the place where we always felt welcome ......by both Laurie and Mike and the girls.  Easter meant Easter egg hunts.  Thanksgiving meant doorprizes provided by Kaitlyn and Sarah.  Summers meant grilling and sitting on the deck surrounded by the constant music of summer!!!!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Many happy hours spent in our backyard...  For many years of Laurie's youth, her brother and sister, Dick and Kathi, were coming back and forth from college for vacations.   Here is Laurie with Dick....wearing her Villanova Tshirt.


Wednesday, May 15, 2013


Is Laurie seriously trying to blow her brother off of this tire??


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

When I think of holidays, I think of all of us together at Laurie's house....
Here she at a big family dinner when she was just a little girl...
It looks like she was just carrying on a tradition she learned as a child...


Sunday, May 12, 2013

Laurie's Retirement Party in January 2013




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Friday, May 10, 2013

No face in this picture...... Just a hand.....  a hand joined to my daughters' hands....
When I was diagnosed stage 4 cancer, I always knew Laurie would be there for my girls.
I only hope my girls and I can do the same for Kaitlyn and Sarah.... 
today while the tears are so fresh and unending....
and for always.

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