It's a hot humid summer day....

reminds me of this night in Ghana when we were sitting by the ocean....

No words.....just a crazy moment!

Summer is beginning soon.  Temps are going up near 90..... humidity is increasing.

When I think of summer I think of you, Laurie....

Always loving the sun, the water, the gardening, the family time......

Memorial Day weekend...... what would a holiday/picnic/summer weekend be without your cheetos, Laurie?  You ALWAYS had them ready for all of us to munch on.  So, in your honor we ate cheetos all day long yesterday!!!

It is Memorial Day weekend.  

Whatever the holiday, it was a reason to hang out on Laurie's back porch/deck.

This is the first summer holiday without you.....

I bought Cheetos in your honor.

I will play the music.

But through it all my tears will fall.......

Hard to believe that a year ago we were all in Canada 

celebrating Kaitlyn's graduation....

What a proud day for Laurie....

Aunt Laurie was always there for any life event...... like the birth of Lilia in 2007.

I hope Lilia will always remember that the love she got from Aunt Laurie.

ONE MONTH

One month ago today since I lost my sister......

There is a quilt being made in this country.  

It is a quilt of memories of people fighting and losing the Metastatic Breast Cancer Battle.   

The quilt will travel around this country. 

And, one square on the quilt will remember OUR fight....

“Her eyes filled with tears when I was very happy or sad.

THAT was my sister.”

LAURIE PAETZOLD RYAN

Daughter, Mother, Wife, Sister, Aunt, Teacher

9/20/1963 – lost the 2 year MBC battle on 4/21/2013

KATHLEEN PAETZOLD

Daughter, Mother, Sister, Aunt, Teacher

4/7/1951 – still fighting MBC after 6 years

They often say that “Of two sisters,

one is the watcher, and one is the dancer.”

Kathi was the older, the quieter, “the watcher”.
Laurie was “the dancer”, the life and joy of every gathering.

Laurie was at Kathi’s side for the 17 years she has battled BC.

Then in 2009, Laurie also had the BC diagnosis.
In 2011, Laurie found herself traveling her sister’s road of MBC.
In 2012, that “road” took both of them to Ghana on an adventure of a lifetime (even though both were still doing chemo treatments)!
Neither sister stopped fighting, but on 4/21 Laurie lost the battle.
Two beautiful girls lost their mother.

 Students lost their teacher.

A father lost his daughter.  

A sister has lost her friend and support.

And, the world lost another “DANCER”.

Always happiest with company at her house!!!
summer 2009

New Year's Eve 2009

Trying hard to make it till midnight despite both of us on chemo treatments

No New Year's Eve will ever be the same....

Cold or Warm...... every holiday was at Laurie's....... She became the focal point for the family.  The place where we always headed.....the place where we always felt welcome ......by both Laurie and Mike and the girls.  Easter meant Easter egg hunts.  Thanksgiving meant doorprizes provided by Kaitlyn and Sarah.  Summers meant grilling and sitting on the deck surrounded by the constant music of summer!!!!

Many happy hours spent in our backyard...  For many years of Laurie's youth, her brother and sister, Dick and Kathi, were coming back and forth from college for vacations.   Here is Laurie with Dick....wearing her Villanova Tshirt.

Is Laurie seriously trying to blow her brother off of this tire??

When I think of holidays, I think of all of us together at Laurie's house....
Here she at a big family dinner when she was just a little girl...
It looks like she was just carrying on a tradition she learned as a child...

Laurie's Retirement Party in January 2013

Customize your own picture slideshow

No face in this picture...... Just a hand.....  a hand joined to my daughters' hands....
When I was diagnosed stage 4 cancer, I always knew Laurie would be there for my girls.
I only hope my girls and I can do the same for Kaitlyn and Sarah.... 

today while the tears are so fresh and unending....

and for always.

Let's Dance Our Tears Away     

I think Laurie would approve of us dancing our tears away.....

Not only would she approve, she'd be right there dancing with us!

So many years ago..... yet the face, the smile are the same.......

Just a week before we lost Laurie, less than a month ago......

She and I were together in NYC to visit Sloan Kettering...

I want to just grab her out of this picture and bring her back.....

Laurie was ALWAYS a lover of music...... 

There was always music in her house. Every room had a speaker so that the music followed you wherever you went..... inside and outside.   It wouldn't take much to get Laurie dancing.   

Another beautiful day..... sunshine, blue skies, flowering trees..... and yet there is such sadness..
No holiday, no special event, no day was ever complete without Laurie at our sides, or on the phone, or in an email.....

.

I had my scheduled treatment at Wilmot Cancer Center at Strong Memorial Hospital today.  

I was last there 3 weeks ago...when I still had my sister.  

I went today and could not hold back the tears......

Today was a difficult day, Laurie.

Two weeks ago today we lost you.....

The world moves on..... 

Life goes on all around me....

But, I am stuck on April 21, 2013.

I called Dad today and his answering machine picked up. It was your voice, like always.  Only today when I heard it, the tears flowed.  Can't imagine never hearing your voice again.

It was a beautiful day today...

Just like this day Ali, you, and I had a beer on a beautiful summer night on a street in downtown Binghamton.

Laurie's First Holy Communion at St. John the Evangelist's Church in Binghamton, NY

I loved you from the day you were born.......

You may have been 12 years younger...... 

but that only made me love you more.....

Out in front of our home on Spurr Ave, in the 1960s, when you wanted to be able to touch the gigantic sunflower that grew in our small garden.

I try to say good bye and I choke....

Walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear...

My world crumbles when you are not there.....

Missing you so much, my dearest sister......

9/20/1963-4/21/2013